Friday

Set off from home at 5.50 am to meet up with Rusty and Jon at Maidstone services. As we had accommodation
booked at Belgium “travelling light” was the order of the day so a couple of pairs of skidders in me rucksack
and we were off !

Got to Maidstone at 7.15 and Rusty and Jon arrived soon after. Had a bit of a chinwag and then Jon and I
made our way to Le Chunnel. Rusty was travelling on the old Fairy with the other U.K attendees as he felt that
he wouldn't be able to hold his breath long enough for the 30 minute crossing on the train. The crossing was
uneventful and I can confirm that it is not like the Sea life Centre with glass walls so you can look at the fish
(or the turds) !

Our ride down to Putte was great, the sun was shining and roads very clear. We made good progress and arrived
at our destination around 2pm. The Swedish guys turned up a while later and we made our way to the room and
dumped our gear. Jon was opposed to a trip to “Le Offie” as he didn't fancy warm beer so we hit the bar. Belgians
have no idea about how to pour beer, I'm sorry, but it's true. Mamby pamby, arty farty little glasses and they
can't even fill them to the top. 0.25L measures !! What are they like ! Take me own glass next year ! After a couple
of short, frothy measures of beer Jon decided that “Le Offie” wasn't such a bad thing after all and I toddled off
and bought a case of 24 warm Belgian beers. These were slowly (naff taste was not the word) consumed through
the afternoon as we watched more Maxes arrive. The English crew arrived and we were re-united with Rusty, who
looked like a lost Sheep. Apparently the fuse was damp on the depth charges so he was unable to carry out his
planned assault on us from the security of the ferry :lol

Priority number one was for Rusty to do a sortie on the small brown goats who were in the next field last year. To his
dismay they'd gone ! Probably turned into some Belgian delicacy…..perhaps they were on the BBQ ? All he had for
entertainment was a few old shitty arsed sheep ! Just like being in Wales ! This put a dampener on his weekend and
for our planned trip to Sweden next year he has asked Anders for a list of available local wildlife before he can
commit to attending. However, little did he know of the best chance of a shag that would come his way late on the
Saturday night……….

There were now a couple of hundred bikes present in all shapes and sizes. It's amazing, you think you've put work
into your own bike until you see the quality of the European bikes and the extent to which they modify them. Jon
took many, many pictures and they'll feature along with the article. It would take pages and pages to write about
them, so I won't even try. My own personal favourite was the red and black one ridden by Crocodile Dundee. It just
looked tidy and I really liked the red and black paint and it's overall appearance was mean and moody (just how
Rusty was feeling about the goats). Why old Croc had to keep revving it on the Saturday night we'll never know.
We then proceeded to the BBQ which was not as good as it has been in previous years. The sausages ran out and
we had to visit Fanny Craddocks chip van to exchange the tokens which were left. She was an excellent entrepreneur,
boldly displaying a pricelist which she saw fit not to abide by ! The fact that when she had quiet moments she chain
smoked made the food taste even better. I thought that was black pepper on my chips, but now realise it was probably
fag ash :lol Throwaway BBQ next year, Rusty will still have some matches left over which were going to be used to light
the fuse on the ferry.

The rest of the evening was spent drinking, dancing ????? (I understand there are embarrassing pictures to prove) and
a lot of friendly banter. My evening culminated in Dawn proving to me that she had bigger tits than me on the dance floor.
Crikey, I think I'm scarred for life ! It was great fun and good to meet up with many old friends from the U.K club and
overseas including my old bottle wielding Mate Ulrich !

Saturday

Awoke quite early and ventured out into an already glorious morning. More bikes were arriving by the minute and apparently
the grand total was 350 on the day. There was a ride out in the morning which we didn't attend as we were a little jaded
and we spent the morning looking at the various vendors selling every kind of aftermarket part you could think off. Rusty
parted with many Euros for some bolt on goodies but it was interesting to note that none of the suppliers were taking card
payments. I feel they would have done a hell of a lot more business this way and taken many more orders.

On venturing over to my bike I noticed that the head and glass had been unscrewed from one of my indicators and was missing.
Bastards ! was it theft or sabotage ? I was determined to find out. I trawled every bloody bike in that place and no-one had
the same indicators as me……mmmm….strange. However, it transpired that obviously, late on the Friday night, I had noticed it was
loose, removed it and put it in “my” boot. However, “boot” was not mine and it turned up on the Sunday in one of the Swedes
boots ! Sorted ! I really don't remember removing it and blame it on the Belgian beer and the heat !

It was now apparent to Jon, myself and Rusty that this event is a double-edged sword. Yeah there were some right tasty bikes
there, but there were also some right tasty young fillies as well. One in particular caught our eye. Nicole Le Mouton. Drop dead
gorgeous and we had to get a picture. Rusty was quite subtle about this. He prepared to take a picture of a bike, waited until
Nicole walked into shot then took the picture. She then apologised for being in the way – NO PROBLEM ! Jon was a little less
subtle and tended to track the subject matter in his viewfinder and make it blatantly obvious that he is just a lecherous old perve.
These pictures became known as “Rusty Shots” and a lot were taken. Rusty even ventured over to Nicole and spoke to her but
she was waiting for her partner, never mind mate, better luck next time ! We soon had a well organised photo shoot going between
the 3 of us. I would locate and track a target “eyes left, range 25 metres” and Rusty and Jon would do the do. CD`s available via Jon !

In the afternoon we watched the drag racing. This is on a closed public road outside the event and they had an eighth mile set up
complete with lights and professional timing. The fastest max was a long low chain driven affair. If the guy could have got more
traction his times would have been much better. I really couldn't see that you'd be able to do this on a public road in England,
but obviously the locals are all up for it or they go away for the weekend ! By now Jon and I were melting. The frothy small beers
we had consumed in the morning, the large nosebag of spaghetti and Tabasco for lunch, the hot weather and being a couple of
bloaters was all taking its toll. In line with European legislation we had Le Siesta in our air-conditioned room (separate beds of
course). We were woken by the stunt team and got outside as it finished….oh well, never mind.

The evening was basically a repeat of the night before with more beer, more “dancing” ? and some real good fun. Top cabaret was
provided by one of the Hungarians. He can wheel spin a Max like it's a toy. Cut donuts better than Pillsbury and write Vmax with
the rear tyre, I sometimes struggle to do that with a pen ! Absolute nutter and a definite case of “don`t try this at home”. He
culminated by doing a burn out getting all the way to 5^th gear until the tyre burst ! Apparently it wasn't his wheel / tyre, it
had been loaned to him specifically for this show and his own was ready to bolt on for the ride home.

The stripper came on (not literally) and did the usual old hat. Some said it used to be a bloke ? Looked alright from where I was
stood and certainly better than the sheep, but not as nice as Nicole !!!! There was more piss taking and banter until the early hours
and whilst the Saturday evening was more subdued than Friday it was a really good evening. No fireworks this year (or did I miss
them) but plenty of fun in great company. Jon toddled off to the room and I followed around 2 am I believe. By this time my ability
to count room numbers and go in the right room had been hampered by the beer. Yep, you guessed it, I went in the wrong room. Like
a seen from Goldilocks I pronounced “Who`s sleeping in my bed” and pulled the cover back and grabbed (by accident of course) a
fistful of Rusty`s arse ! To which he told me “Fuck off Gaylord” and Paul then explained to me that our room was next door ! Little
did I realise that Paul and Dawn had made the same mistake earlier and gone into our room by mistake. Sorry Rusty, no offence mate,
like the sheep skin skidders though !

On the Sunday we packed and left. We made good progress and Rusty rode with us back to Calais. Saw 145mph on the clock on the way
back which with the speedo error I've currently got is around 138mph. That's the fastest I've been on this max and it was as steady
as a rock. Rusty called me a woossie for shutting off but I really did feel a little jaded after 2 days of alcohol abuse. We parted
company at Calais and Jon and I had a smooth ride on the train home. I got home around 2 pm with only one small shower on the M20 on
my journey.

An excellent weekend with good company, great bikes, and top tottie ! I'm sure we'll get a bigger Vmaxchat group to come over next year
to both the Belgian and Swiss rallies ?

See you there ?

Geoff The Bolt

Thanks to Anders for these extra photos